You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
