I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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