Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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