She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
third nipple confirmed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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