we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
