I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
