So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
