I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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