im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
