last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
