i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
