I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
