Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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