There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
