hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
