Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
