We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
