yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
