New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
