Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
