Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
