Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
