We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
