Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
