oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
