Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
