this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize