I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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