oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
