I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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