When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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