I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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