all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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