She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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