Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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