I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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