TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
