Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
