White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
