I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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