i permit you to call me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
