I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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