so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
