I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
