yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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