Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
