he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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