Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
