Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
