At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you never un-have a 4some
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
