So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
