he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
