Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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