True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hippo gnu deer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
