just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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