we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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