Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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