I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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