Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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