Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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