Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
