Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
