they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
