Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize