My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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