I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
